forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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