Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
