he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
