Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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