Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
