? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
