Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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