there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
