I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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