I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
