I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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