No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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