Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I intend to get homeless drunk
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
