I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
