just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
