Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
being pregnant is like rehab
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize