I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
