this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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