just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
