well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
