how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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