it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
