Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
