I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
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I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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