Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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