I bet he comes in French.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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