So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
