Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
