Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
