Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.

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  (270): If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit. http://tfl.nu/gpdl
  Replies (100) Good night (1130) Bad night (2781)
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  (650): View more from California

  hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.

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  (650): hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america. http://tfl.nu/xe1m
  Replies (7) Good night (2749) Bad night (831)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.

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  (506): i think i would be more confident if i were chinese. http://tfl.nu/cr8w
  Replies (6) Good night (2619) Bad night (1722)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  where am I supposed to find one of those?

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  (225): I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8. (225): where am I supposed to find one of those? http://tfl.nu/uj31
  Replies (17) Good night (1144) Bad night (2591)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

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  (254): I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer... http://tfl.nu/1ty6
  Replies (28) Good night (3243) Bad night (6465)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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  (732): a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove. http://tfl.nu/qfpc
  Replies (11) Good night (4284) Bad night (1248)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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  (270): New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it. http://tfl.nu/its0
  Replies (10) Good night (1091) Bad night (2306)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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  (612): i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore. http://tfl.nu/6de5
  Replies (14) Good night (3746) Bad night (806)
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  (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.

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  (916): He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/4abm
  Replies (9) Good night (1961) Bad night (722)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life

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  (907): Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life http://tfl.nu/0u5y
  Replies (2) Good night (1465) Bad night (443)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.

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  (587): It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse. http://tfl.nu/f8ym
  Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (458)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.

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  (508): I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking. http://tfl.nu/mdga
  Replies (16) Good night (2127) Bad night (708)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.

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  (317): I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child. http://tfl.nu/h99a
  Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (386)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs

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  (908): If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs http://tfl.nu/w28c
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?

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  (631): are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ? http://tfl.nu/6snf
  Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (261)

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