There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage