omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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