So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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