If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
