just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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