he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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