battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize