Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
