Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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