don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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