dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize