Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
