i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
