why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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