Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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