Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
