you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
