when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
