i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
