everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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