Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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