if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.