I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How did I end up in the pool?!
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The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.