I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
