I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
