i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize