it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize