i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it's great music for shaving your balls
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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